as queer as a clockwork orange

Nothing very depressing has happened thus far, thus I have nothing substantial to say. But I have a few observations.

1. There are a lot of skinny squirrels running around our campus and I always have a cruel urge to snatch one and squeeze it like a stress ball. But I also wonder where the dead squirrels are. I see the live ones but where are the dead ones? Do squirrels bury their dead too? Or maybe they curl up under the leaves right before their hour of death so they can spare humans the sight of squirrel death.
2. I truly wish it weren’t so true that the more time you spend with someone, the more you notice their shortcomings, their flaws, their ego, because that just means so much more energy on your part to accept them for who they are. And to realize that no one will ever fit the ideal you want them to be.
3. Long busrides are the ultimate stress reliever and depression onsetter. When I am in the bus, I am trapped within the confines of the bus. I am rooted to my seat and the only thing I can do is sit and wait. Ironically, by being trapped in this small bus-world, I am free from all the restraints of the world and I am left to let my mind run wild. And when my mind runs wild, all my suppressed depression, anxieties, homesickness surface to the forefront and I feel an immense sadness drowning myself in self-pity. But to have a little session of self-pity is relief. You just have to remember to snap back and enter into self-criticizing mode again when you realize everyone else on the bus is waiting for you to get off the bus so they can return to their little depressed worlds.
4. I find it extremely hard to write optimistically without sounding corny. Only pessimistic things inspire me. Why must it be so? Why can’t optimistic things inspire me too?